Many years ago, I Meg McCarville, did my doctoral thesis on the psychology of obsessive love, delusions, and mental illness. Particularly the phenomenon called folie a deux. Which occurs when two destructive or mentally ill people meet and feed into each other’s malignant insanity; with disastrous results.
As part of my studies, I was interested in deriving a questionnaire that would make two otherwise sane, nonviolent people commit atrocious acts after both took turns asking and answering them – I was interested in igniting folie a deux.

With the resulting questionnaire, I watched one set of subjects after another commit the most vile and pernicious acts with no trepidation or guilt whatsoever.

The questions were first tested on a young couple.
That young couple was Charles Starkweather and Caril Ann Fugate – you might have heard of them as they went on a brutal killing spree that spanned across the US.
Some of the other test subjects signed suicide pacts and killed themselves.
Others have disappeared together without a trace.

Because of the initial results, the “McCarville 69,” as they came to be called was burned and buried.
For years it was considered lost media.
Despite this, one way or another, they have surfaced several notable times, and the results have always been devastating and gruesome:

It is known that Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold asked each other the questions right before they committed the atrocious murders at Columbine High School.

Ian Brady and Myra Hindley, the Moors Murderers, had apparently memorized them and would take turns shouting and answering all 69 while brutally torturing children.

Charlie Manson spoke about taking LSD with members of The Family, and completing the questionnaire before having Creepy Crawls. He also claimed to subliminally render a version of the questions into the song “Garbage Dump.”
When GG and Merle Allin caught wind of this, they re-recorded the song and sang it to one another repeatedly, in hopes that it would have a similar effect to the actual questionnaire, which they were unable to obtain.
It is uncertain if GG and Merle’s chaotic, incestuous, and bizarre relationship had anything to do with the supposed subliminal messages involving the McCarville 69.
In an interview with Rolling Stone their mother Arlena Gunther pointed out,
“I gave birth to two sick fucks. Plain and simple.
The type of symbiotic deranged relationship the boys shared was what made Meg McCarville.
Not the other way around.”
This is very difficult to imagine if we observe the twisted, obnoxious relationship between Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton; who went public about completing the McCarville 69 on their first date, after being given a copy of the questionnaire by “The Voice” co-star Kelly Clarkson.

It was also reported that the McCarville 69 landed in the hands of Asahara Shoko. He would take members of Aum Shinrikyo in a room and force them to ask each other the questions over and over – to reach, “supreme truth,” as he put it.
The results were a failed attempt in poisoning the water supply, and a massacre of a dozen people when they released sarin nerve gas into the Tokyo Subway System.

Jeffery Epstein, Keith Raniere, and David Miscavige are all noted as exposing their followers to the questionnaire to gain power over them. However, since these three influential and deviant men refused to answer the questionnaire themselves, mass murder was never reported.

“The McCarville 69 is not a one-sided test”, James Banner of Harvard school of Psychology explains, “One cannot merely exercise a God like Power over another person by having that person give them the answers.
The questionnaire’s power lies in two minds, feeding into each other, each becoming incrementally more demented as each question is asked and each answer is shared by both.
In that context, the questionnaire causes a symbiotic downward spiral of epic proportions, in a very short period of time.”

Simply put – Answering these questions will make two subjects completely obsessed with one another.
Paranoid.
Violent.
Mentally ill.

From the onset of the questionnaire, the two minds quickly fuse. All insecurities, violent thoughts, hate, and flight/fight responses are then magnified.
This is why the questionnaire causes a couple to commit such vile acts as murder, torture, terrorist attacks, and playfully bantering in the most nauseating way possible on television show “The Voice.”

The McCarville 69 have been known to cause psychosis, mania, obsession, rage, violence, delusions, homicidal ideations, disassociation, antisocial tendencies, age regression, pica, innumerable paraphilias, perversions, brainwashing, hallucinations, schizophrenia, out of body experiences, hypersexuality, suicidal ideations, incest, hebephilism, bloodlust, sudden and overwhelming desire to consume human flesh, fugue states, savagery, self-harm, overinflated sense of self or partner, misanthropic tendencies, and Merrye Syndrome.

Once you complete these questions with a partner, it is reported that you not only develop an instant connection with that person, but an obsession.
The paranoia, mental illness, and rage of one then fuels that of the other in a vicious cycle until the results are cataclysmic.

Essentially, the McCarville 69 incites an overall mistrust and paranoia of the world around you. Once you complete these questions with another human being, it is reported that you not only develop an instant connection with that person, but an obsession.
The paranoia, mental illness, and rage of one person fuels that of the other one in a vicious cycle until the results are cataclysmic.

I have been haunted my whole life by the devastating results of my test.
Until I finally took my own test with a hooker named Charlie earlier today.
We agree that the best way to rid the earth of the cancer that is humanity is to once again, publicly publish my 69 questions.
We know that this will annihilate the human race faster than any war, nuke, plague, or wide spread natural disaster ever could.
We stand united in bringing about the end of humanity.

I have released them as, “The Best 69 Questions to Ask on a First Date” on countless dating apps including Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, Match.com, eharmony, and in magazines like Teen, Cosmo, and O to speed up the process of human annihilation to unknowing couples.

There is no going back.
It has begun. And will end quickly.
There is no stopping the imminent extermination of human cockroaches.
Soon, the streets will be drenched in blood.

Find someone quickly. Read the questions. Join us.
Or sit back as your life becomes more terrifying than any horror movie, or less chill than any Snuff film you have ever seen. 

See you in Hell.

Love,
Meg McCarville.

The McCarville 69

Comrades, here are my 69 questions:

1. Hi. How has your day been?

Enough chit chat. Let’s get down to the gnitty gritty.

2. If you were in a movie theatre and it caught fire, what would you do?

3. Rate from most to least cancellable: Adolf Hitler, Will Smith, Elon Musk, Rosie O’Donnell, Caligula, Jason Vorhees, Kanye West, BTK, Ellen Degeneres, Caitlyn Jenner.

4. What is your dream vacay?

5. Which is the worst of your bad habits?

6. Would you get an abortion if you were pregnant with Chucky?
What about Megan Markle?

7. Rank the 10 Plagues of Egypt Most Chill to Most Cringe.
Hint: 10 Plagues of Egypt (in no specific order) water turning to blood, frogs, lice, flies, livestock pestilence, boils, hail, locusts, darkness, and the killing of firstborn children.

8. What’s the coolest way to kill yourself?

9. Would you rather bang your mom or your dad.
Please explain your choice in graphic detail.

10. Who is your celeb doppelganger?

11. Are you safe?

12. Who is the biggest celeb MILF?

13. Explain why you would rather bang your own mother.

14. Who would you most hate to be stranded on a desert island with?
If you were stranded on a desert island with that person with no chance of rescue, would you die by your own hand?
If yes. How would you do it?

15. What’s the most chill perversion?
Least chill?

16. Talk about your greatest failure in life.

17. Have you ever lied for “Truth” in “Truth or Dare”?

18. What is your deepest darkest fear?

19. What’s the worst thing your h8rs say about you?

20. Do you believe your own lies?

21. Why is McDonald’s the best fast-food restaurant?

22. How much money did you donate to Coalition Against Trafficking in Woman under the name Ghislaine Maxwell?
Do you consider this a good deed?

23. When was the last time you crapped your pants since you were a child?

24. What is the most chill snuff film?

25. What is your most boring memory?

26. When did you start creating your own fantasy world in order to cope with the real one?

27. Describe the Holocaust in three words.

28. Tell me what life is like since you’ve been cancelled.

29. How do you pantomime your way through the motions of the gruelling brutality of day to day life?

30. What is the worst that can happen?

31. Clowns, hot to cringe: Emmet Kelly, Lou Jacobs, Baskets the Clown, Puddles the Clown, Pogo the Clown, Bozo, Art the Clown, Pennywise, Shakes the Clown, Juggalos, Mimes.

32. How do you want to die?

33. Where is your secret piercing?

34. What is the grossest thing that has spewed forth from your body?
The coolest?

35. If someone gave you a rhesus monkey as a pet who did tricks and wore hats but carried the Ebola Virus, would you raise it as your own or toss it into the nearest tampon receptacle at the mall?
What would you do if the same Rhesus monkey was your first-born child?

36. Where are the missing women?

37. What’s your “guilty pleasure” when using the dark web?

38. Do you like GUM?

39. If you made a human centipede with the Royal Family, who would be where and why?

40. Where is the chillest place you’ve jacked off?

41. What’s an embarrassing secret about yourself that you told someone in confidence and then they told a bunch of other people?

42. Is God afraid of Pinhead?

43. Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about someone other than me?

44. Wear your socks on your hands and try to make a sandwich.

45. Who killed JonBenét Ramsey?
Explain your answer in detail.

46. Have you ever performed stitches on a snitch?

47. Where would you most like to bang your grandmother?
Orifice and Locale please.

48. Rate from most to least chill: Kim, Kylie, Kris, Kanye, Freddie Krueger, Josef Mengele, Caitlyn Jenner.

49. #metoo- “I’m with her” or “GET OVER IT!”?

50. What sound did your brain make when it died in your skull?

51. Who is more cringe? Adolf Hitler or Corey Feldman.

52. How old would you say the child in the photo is?

Nope. She’s 20.                                                                                                       

53. Is Pennywise a demon or a clown?

54. Davy Jones, Micky Dolenz, or Michael Nesmith?
(note: no one ever chooses Peter Tork so he is eliminated from the list)

55. Which serial killer is the most bangable?
(note: The Manson Girls are NOT serial killers, and Aileen Wuornos is taken)

56. Who is the sexiest Hollywood Star under the age of 12?

57. Would you bang this person if no one would ever find out?   

58. What’s the stupidest question you’ve ever been asked?
The craziest?

59. If the last Arby’s was located on the Gaza Strip would you go?

60. What is Pennywise true form?

61. How many more of these fucking questions can I write without putting my fucking head through a wall?

62. What would your mother say?

63. Would you rather have rabies or be pregnant?

64. If you could time travel to any point in history, but could only take a single sock with you, where and when would you go?

65. Would you rather have a pet unicorn or a pet dragon, considering that both are mythical creatures and probably don’t exist?

66. If I spin around really fast, will I turn into a tornado?

67. If you could have any food item as a weapon, what would it be and why?

68. Do you believe in a woman’s right to choose?

69. What if that woman was Klara Hitler?

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